And then I had to wade in and throw a few punches.

So there's been a bit of a scuffle over romance novels lately. By that I mean, Tessa Dare tweeted some stuff about an article that I then read. Basically, people are in a tizzy over some intern's article because it says horribly mean things about romance novels. There's even a rebuttal that proports to defend romance novels but actually turns even meaner.

If you're curious, it's an old argument. The one that says high literature is good for you and romance novels are trash and if you read them you're an idiot. You know, the usual sort of insults. I could say some things here about how romance novels make me think, about the very real depths they have, about how that moment from The Heiress Effect where Jane says I am ablaze is on infinite repeat in my skull. I'm not even going to touch on the idiocry of the argument that woman are so addled with hormones that we can't tell reality and fantasy apart. But instead I've decided to say something simple.

Romance novels make me happy. Unbearably, volcano-ishly happy. There's nothing like that moment when you finish a great romance novel and it feels like your entire body is just glowing with how incredibly happy you are.

This, I think, is one of the reasons they are sneered at so often. Happiness tends to be seen as a lesser emotion. Sadness is percieved as wise and noble. There's a reason we talk about cynism as knowing more and happiness as ignorant. Happy is constantly portrayed as the least of the emotions, the dirtiest, the stupidest. You have to be some sort of idiot if you dare to be happy.

I call bullshit. Happiness is brilliant. Happiness matters. And the best thing about romance novels is that EVERYONE gets to be happy. Are you overweight? You get to live happily ever after! Is your nose kind of crooked? Happily ever after! Did you get knocked up and thrown out on the streets? There's a happily ever after for you too! YAY HAPPY!

Is it realistic? No, not particularly. But isn't it a lovely idea? Instead of adding more bleakness to the world, wouldn't you rather add a bit of light and fairy dust? (On second thought, scratch the fairy dust thing. Probably shouldn't be grinding up fairies for their sparkly properties.)

My point is, screw the people who sneer. Be happy. Be happy to your toenails. Be so happy you hum pop music as you shop for groceries. Be so happy you can't stop giggling at the joke in your head. Be so happy that sneering people glare at you in horrendous jealousy because they can't figure out how you manage it. And, as they mutter there goes another deranged idiot, sigh for them a little and think, there, but for the grace of romance novels, go I.

UWOs

I've recently discovered a strange phenomenon, and it's not just that spell check has to tell me how to spell phenomenon. See, I've been getting through the Forgotten Club edits at the rate of a glacier made of molasses. I fight, tooth and foot tooth (Have you read the onion article about the guy that can't describe hands? I'm still giggling about it.), every time I know I really need to sit down and work on these stupid edits. I clean the apartment, walk the dog, or, my favorite, go to sleep instead.

Which is weird because when I'm actually doing the edits I'm enjoying myself. So why do I hate them so much when I'm not working on them? Is there something wired into my brain that is trying to prevent me from doing enjoyable things? Is it because these edits are labeled in the 'work' section of my brain, and work must be avoided at all costs? I don't know, but I really need to sort it out because I've got to get these edits done before August first so I can start my new challenge.

I'll tell you all about my new challenge as soon as I get these edits done. I mean, I'm crazy excited about this challenge. Yup, I'm totally going to get to those edits now. Any minute... maybe after a nap.

(So I posted this then realized I never explained the title of the post? It means Unidentified Writing Objects. I know, I'm clever AND hilarious. And just brilliant at grammer and punctuation, obvs. Did you see how I put a question mark on something that isn't a question? That takes ADVANCED punctuation skills right there.)

Dear Denizens of The Internet,

I know it seems as if I have ceased to exist lately, but fear not! I have not accidentally stumbled through a worm hole or disapperated myself to Mars. I have merely discovered that there is a place beyond the internet called 'the physical realm' and it has been throwing problems at me as if they are exploding barrels and I am a small Italian plumber.

After embarking upon various and sundry adventures, my problems are beginning to wrap up and I will be returning to you shortly, dearest internet. I will not be bearing tales of the physical realm back to you, however, as the pixels cannot be trusted with secrets. I am not saying that illegal activity occurred, but I have paid my dog a retainer for legal services, just in case.

Yours in shenanigans,
Jennifer

Let Your Indie Flag Fly

I had great trouble deciding what to write about for this. I mean, picking one indie book? Impossible! So I’m thinking I’ll do a post for every day of indiependence week. That way I get to cover MORE BOOKS!

So, to begin, I’m going to talk about serials. I love serials.

I can read the entire installment over lunch break! It’s like a t.v. episode! The best ones update a lot! What else do you need? And, and, indies are leading the charge on these! There’s some trad pubs stumbling along in the indie’s unstoppable wake, but mostly it’s an indie movement.

The idea is that serials are good for cell phone reading. Like, you’re waiting in a long line so you read a serial. Convienient! How fitting for our current attention spans! (I don’t know about you, but mine’s, like, five seconds.)

So I guess I should highlight some actual serials. (And, umm, some of them are from Indelible authors because I’m not sure how I can leave them out? So SORRY I’M BREAKING THE RULES PLEASE FORGIVE ME.)

I’ve read through most of RaShelle Workman’s Blood and Snow serials. Quick and dramatic, great fun. I believe I found out about these through cool little text picture things she made. What are those things called anyway? With the book quotes on them? I adore them, but somehow have never tried to name them before now...

On my ‘to read’ pile is Susan Kaye Quinn’s Debt Collectors serials. I KNOW I haven’t gotten to reading them yet, I’ve been busy, okay? Found out about this one through her blog during an indie blog hop day.

I also want to read H.M. Ward’s serials, but they’re a bit pricey so I keep being all *debates* *wants* *debates* I predict giving in any day now. These are from the evil Amazon recommendation engine that won't stop making me want even more books I can't afford.

I’m not sure if it counts as indie, but I’ve started reading Kindle Worlds stories. I can already tell I’m going to be tearing through these things like potato chips (which I happen to be eating right now). Poor bank account. I forsee many lunch breaks spent in a favorite fan-fic in my future. I recommend Anita Clenney's Vampire Diaries serials. Intense and crazy, just like the show.

SO tomorrow I will talk about my debilitating love of regencies and all the delicious indieness thereof, and Wednesday will be all about NA. No idea what Thursday will be. An awesome surprise? Maybe a give away? Probably not, because I really am broke. But WE SHALL SEE. 

(Also I'm pretty sure I'm disqualified? Because I've followed none of the rules? OH WELL. (Double also, I really need to stop making statements into questions for no good reason. But adding question marks is really fun?))