New is Always Better (unless the better thing was there first)

No, I'm not sure what that title means either. Maybe it's a How I Met Your Mother joke? Or maybe it's a statement on our world today and our strange embracing yet resistance to change. Maybe it's a comment on how that sentence didn't even make sense. Only time will tell.

Anyway, I've been chasing after this new story idea. I'm super excited about it. There's suspense! and action! and maybe chase scenes! in Vegas! and that's really all I know. It's still a little fuzzy, okay?

To get myself to continue writing what I'm SUPPOSED to be working on (hey, remember that one story? and it's due in a month now? maybe you should do that) I've been bribing myself with this new story. Get your writing done and you can write! OH BOY!

Shockingly, this method got me through many a college class. Get that class reading done and you can read! YES! My roommate may have thought I was crazy. Then again, she may have been right.

I feel like there was supposed to be a point somewhere? And maybe I was going to teach you a valuable lesson about life and embracing the present moment because the future is uncertain by nature? Except mostly I think I'm writing this because I haven't posted anything on this blog in a week and I was all, oh, maybe I should go do that.

WAR OUT!

(Get it? Because usually it's peace out? I crack myself up.)

Know the Warning Signs

In the news today, not-at-all-famous writer Jennifer Recchio was arrested for using focus enhancing software.

“I just could’t help it,” Jennifer was heard saying, “I’d get on twitter and never write more than a sentence, so I downloaded the software on a trial basis. Look, I knew it was cheating, but I never thought it would go this far.”

Jennifer has been brought in for questioning by the Ethical Writing Enforcement Agency. She is being charged with software abuse. The EWEA are considering revoking her previous record of writing over 10k in a single day. They’ve released the following statement:

Jennifer is one of many who suffers from focus problems in our current internet age, but softwares like Focus Booster and Stay Focused are not the answer. Remember that writers throughout the centuries have suffered from distractions and made it through without any of these cheap solutions. Do not give in because “everyone is doing it.” Stay strong, and just say no to focus software.

The trial will be held once the jurors are done rewatching Veronica Mars and catching up on the latest episodes of Vampire Diaries.

Indie Life March: Otherwise known as the tale of taxes.

For my first Indie Life post I've decided to write about something really enthralling. Taxes. I just finished mine the other day and discovered the government is going to give me magical free money that will fall from the sky into my bank account. My accountant, a.k.a. my brother, explained that's not really how it works, that the government is giving me back my own money that they've been loaning for free with no interest, so tax refunds are actually a horrible thing.

Still. FREE MONEY.

I'll be dumping my free money in my business account to spend on full length novel edits in December (Did you know full book edits cost, like, a thousand dollars? And that's really, like, a lot of money?) minus ten dollars so I can buy this book I want. WHAT? It's a cool book, okay?

I have to admit, this money is a huge boon. Mostly because there was only ninety bucks left in my business account and I was a little bit panicking about how to pay for all the things.

A note on business accounts: I would advise anyone who thinks they might eventually make enough money off this to pay quarterly taxes (for me it's a thousand dollar threshold! Yeah, my day job doesn't pay that great. If you want to know your quarterly taxes threshold, figure out how much you'd have to make on writing for it to be 10% of your income. I think. But seriously, talk to an actual accountant.) to separate out their personal and business accounts. This way when it comes tax time, there's a clear record of what you spent on business-y things versus what was for personal use. And do not EVER use your business account for anything not business-y. 

Plus, this way all your writing income can go to one place and be separate from your day job income so you know to invest it back into your writing and not squander it on, say, really cool books. Not that I would know anything about that.

A note on taxes and the paying thereof: If you make as little money as I do, don't have a brother who is also an accountant, and are all ARGH HOW DO I PAY THESE TAX THINGS, then fear not! I have the answer! Go to turbo tax, select their free tax filling option, and they will walk you through all the steps and do your taxes! For free! Aren't free things the best?

And now this post is over and I'm not sure I said anything brilliant and witty about indie life. So I will leave you with this parting thought. If you could get magical money in your bank account every week, but the price was eating a churro every single day for the rest of your life, would you do it?

Live Who You Want To Be

I've been wasting a lot of time lately telling myself how productive I'm going to be once I'm a full time writer. I have this future image of myself going to the gym every day, writing for eight hours, then going out to solve crimes with nothing but a toothpick and a laser pointer (okay, maybe not that last part). The point is, future me is awesome. Present me wastes too much time surfing the internet and barely makes it to the gym once a week.

There's a well known saying in business that you should dress for the job you want, not the one you have (let's ignore for a minute that this works not at all in a profession with uniforms).

It's about time I make use of that saying, not with my clothes, but with my actions. I've begun asking myself: Would super awesome future me (SAFM) skip the gym? No? Then get to it. Would SAFM slack off on writing to watch one more episode of Vampire Diaries? No? Then start writing. 

Keep in mind that I'm not making myself feel bad by comparing myself to someone else, I'm reminding myself of where I want to be and the work it's going to take to get there. I know I'll never really achieve some idealized version of myself, but maybe I can live like her for a little while.

In Which I Am So Not Productive

I feel like I keep writing about trying to manage time.* Then again, that's mostly what I'm dealing with in this stage of my writing career. How to find time around my day job to actually get writing done.

Of course, the problem isn't really time so much as energy. I have time, as I've proven by watching all the Archer on Netflix. The problem is that when I'm off work I'm all, blah, don't wanna be productive, take nap now. In my defense, I did get my edits done last night. Against my defense, I've written about a thousand words of Pride today when I meant to write ten thousand. Oops.

I can still manage to hold to my schedule if I buckle down and work like crazy, though part of me is beginning to think I am lazy is a lesson I am refusing to learn. I should really work on some readjustment to account for my laziness, like how I figured out that I won't wake up early enough to go to the gym so I started going after work because it's on my way home, thus ridding me of all excuses.

I'm having trouble coming up with a good system like that for writing, though. Try consistently writing every day so that I only need to get a little bit done, thus making it more manageable? Nah, too sane and sensible. My turning off the internet strategy works remarkably well because it bores me into writing. Maybe I should try using that more often. I thought about setting it to turn off my internet every morning, but decided that would just make me sleep in later (sad but true).

I clearly need to trick myself into productivity. Okay, here's the plan. By the end of this week I must write a business plan. The only way to procrastinate on this is by writing Pride. GO!

*I also feel like I spend a lot of time writing about how I'm avoiding writing? And it maybe makes it sound like I don't like writing? So I would just like to clarifying that I adore writing. I only avoid it because it's work and I avoid all work on principal (principle? principel? Oh screw it, who cares (it would take me five second to look up which one is right, but I won't, on princi-something)).