Indie Life: Endless

You may remember my hysterical meltdown from a few days ago. Actually putting a book up proved to be much more terrifying than anticipated. To be honest, I wasn't expecting that reaction from myself. I'm the kind of person who loves when other people read my writing. If you know me in real life I'm likely to shove my writing in your face and badger you to read it. I'm one of those writers. Which is why it took me so completely off guard when putting my book up for sale sent me into a tail spin of PANIC.

Publishing my book has turned out to be a lot like getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I was so obsessed with worry over the I.V. (I really hate I.V.s, okay?) that I never saw the real problem (a sore jaw and a numb tongue) coming until I was in the middle of it. And I'm kind of glad I didn't. Because if I had I would've have freaked out much worse beforehand, and what good what that have done me?

Now that I've had time to take a step back and a deep breath, I recognize where it's coming from. See, generally when I'm on submission and hit the point where I should be getting a response soon, I start stressing out and check my email every five seconds until I finally get the letter telling me I've been accepted or rejected.

I know how to deal with this. I can see it coming, so I've learned to distract myself by keeping busy enough during those times that I just don't give myself the time to worry too much about it.

I have no idea how to deal with having my book out there. It feels like being endlessly on submission, expect there's no letter that can arrive and end things one way or another. I can't just distract myself because there's no expiration limit on this. I'm just... stressed. And I'm not sure how to fix it yet. I think time will help. I imagine I'll get used to this, eventually. Pushing forward seems to be helping. I'm keeping myself busy with new projects and trying to direct my energy into that instead of fretting over things I can't control.

Plus, I'm making myself focus on the fun aspects of indie publishing. Even if I never make more than the dollar seventy-five I've made so far I won't regret my decision, because of everything I've gotten from the experience. And I'm doing what I've always wanted. I'm fighting for my dream, and that means something to me.

So that's where I am right now. Confused, happy, and stressed the #?F&6% out.

How do you cope with self-publishing stress?